At the advice of my good friend Jamie, I am pulling an all nighter so I can sleep soundly on the plane tomorrow. So I've just made a cup of tea, I'm watching ridiculously crap TV (TV that looks like it cost £20 to produce the series), and I'm going to write my third blog. Well, second and a half, the second was more of a hernia attached to the first one. [EDIT Feb 2013: I deleted the second hernia blog as it was way too boring and irrelevant for anyone to read, even if it was only 5 lines long, that's like 30 seconds of your life. Which I have just taken anyway writing this edit. Apologies, but if you don't think I can count then how can I possibly give you any sound advice?]
I'm leaving tomorrow morning, provided that English roads and airports can handle this new pandemic called snow, and I had a rather interesting conversation with a friend earlier on Skype. She is a friend of mine who I'd spoken to just as I was thinking about going to LA, I hadn't booked my flight at this point, but she was my deciding factor. She was there, doing exactly what I wanted to do, meeting managers and agents, going to castings off the back of that, living in a 5 Star hotel in Hollywood and living my dream. She said it was easy, and that she had to come back to England to tie up loose ends and was heading back out for good. Sold. My flight was booked.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I speak to her again and this time with the magic of webcam. Sadly, the story could not have been more different. Having been there again for only a week, she had spent that week getting drunk and being bored due to lack of work and meetings. People were not able to meet as they were catching up from the work backlog of Thanksgiving, and rescheduling proved to be difficult. Not having a car, she wasn't able to get far either. The words 'lonely', and 'bored' were used often. The saddest thing was the look in her eye. I can't quite describe it, but it was like a lost child who was waiting for the promise of candy if they stayed where they were. I was glad that she couldn't see me, as it would have been hard for me to hide the disappointment that I felt hearing her story (I'm a bit technically inept and could only make the webcam work one way. I'm pretty sure this line has been used in criminal defences before, no?) I sincerely hope everything works out for her. She's a sweetheart and deserves good things to happen to her.
I've spent many coffee hours recently meeting up with friends and quizzing them over life and the industry in LA, and they all unanimously agree on a few things. It's a big city, the weather is great, people bullshit like fuck.
So is this what LA is really like? The city of angels, the town of dreamers? People go to LA for one reason - to be a star. ('The prettiest girl in high school will go to LA to be a star' - Daryl S). It's no coincidence that porn is a huge industry in LA, where do you think all the failed actresses go?
I'm writing this blog to keep you updated with my journey, but also so I can look back at this when I am getting carried away by the clouds in La La Land. Just like my wise and ridiculously gorgeous friend Will said about making a movie: 'a movie set is not real life. It will feel like real life, but you can't treat it as such and you have to remember that your actual real life carries on after the film ends. If you treat the movie as though it's real life, your life ends when they say "it's a wrap"'. How much to I empathise with that feeling. The emptiness of having nothing to do all day and the worthlessness of no one surrounding you and treating you like a first class citizen. The phone calls stop, there is no schedule, but you are still awake. And you go to sleep. And you wake again. And still no one cares.
I'm lucky that I'm going on this trip with the most wonderful people in my life. I have the best friends, the most supportive family and the most amazing boyfriend in the world. I'm not boasting. We all have these things in our life, we just don't always appreciate them. And they are the ones who make life real.
Thank you.
I'm leaving tomorrow morning, provided that English roads and airports can handle this new pandemic called snow, and I had a rather interesting conversation with a friend earlier on Skype. She is a friend of mine who I'd spoken to just as I was thinking about going to LA, I hadn't booked my flight at this point, but she was my deciding factor. She was there, doing exactly what I wanted to do, meeting managers and agents, going to castings off the back of that, living in a 5 Star hotel in Hollywood and living my dream. She said it was easy, and that she had to come back to England to tie up loose ends and was heading back out for good. Sold. My flight was booked.
Fast forward a few weeks, and I speak to her again and this time with the magic of webcam. Sadly, the story could not have been more different. Having been there again for only a week, she had spent that week getting drunk and being bored due to lack of work and meetings. People were not able to meet as they were catching up from the work backlog of Thanksgiving, and rescheduling proved to be difficult. Not having a car, she wasn't able to get far either. The words 'lonely', and 'bored' were used often. The saddest thing was the look in her eye. I can't quite describe it, but it was like a lost child who was waiting for the promise of candy if they stayed where they were. I was glad that she couldn't see me, as it would have been hard for me to hide the disappointment that I felt hearing her story (I'm a bit technically inept and could only make the webcam work one way. I'm pretty sure this line has been used in criminal defences before, no?) I sincerely hope everything works out for her. She's a sweetheart and deserves good things to happen to her.
I've spent many coffee hours recently meeting up with friends and quizzing them over life and the industry in LA, and they all unanimously agree on a few things. It's a big city, the weather is great, people bullshit like fuck.
So is this what LA is really like? The city of angels, the town of dreamers? People go to LA for one reason - to be a star. ('The prettiest girl in high school will go to LA to be a star' - Daryl S). It's no coincidence that porn is a huge industry in LA, where do you think all the failed actresses go?
I'm writing this blog to keep you updated with my journey, but also so I can look back at this when I am getting carried away by the clouds in La La Land. Just like my wise and ridiculously gorgeous friend Will said about making a movie: 'a movie set is not real life. It will feel like real life, but you can't treat it as such and you have to remember that your actual real life carries on after the film ends. If you treat the movie as though it's real life, your life ends when they say "it's a wrap"'. How much to I empathise with that feeling. The emptiness of having nothing to do all day and the worthlessness of no one surrounding you and treating you like a first class citizen. The phone calls stop, there is no schedule, but you are still awake. And you go to sleep. And you wake again. And still no one cares.
I'm lucky that I'm going on this trip with the most wonderful people in my life. I have the best friends, the most supportive family and the most amazing boyfriend in the world. I'm not boasting. We all have these things in our life, we just don't always appreciate them. And they are the ones who make life real.
Thank you.