So I have been crazy busy recently (hence the lack of posting). I have been doing photoshoots, interviews, TV appearances, screenings, working and this weekend, despite it being a religious holiday that affords us a few rare statutory days off, as nothing in this industry is standard, and I shall be shooting on a very exciting star studded film this weekend. However, I believe I do have a few precious hours off (schedule TBC....) and I am most excited about getting out of town and spending time with those I love the most... my family.
My lifestyle of late has been a whirlwind of activity, all very exciting and sparkly. Nothing like the mundane life of an actor that I used to have, yes I used to work, and have been involved in big projects, but now everything is happening at once, projects are overlapping, I deal with three different PR agents for the various projects, I speak to my agent's office more than I do anyone else, and last week I spent more time with my publicist than I have with any of my friends at all this year.
Exciting, very. Tiring, yes but manageable. Lonely, yes.
It's never failed to baffle me how one can be surrounded by a hubbub of people everyday (sometimes hundreds if working on a big film), and yet feel so empty at the same time. When you close that door to your home/hotel room and the noise ends, the emptiness and silence is deafening. Where is the runner to make me tea? Where is the caterer with my food? Where is the cleaner to do my washing up? As an actor, you are the centre of attention when you're on set, whether this is justified, I am not so sure at times, but hey, that's the way it goes. So when it stops, what do you do?
Of course you can meet and make new friends on projects, but one must not forget (and it is easy to do so) that these people are paid to attend to you. If you took everything out of context, they will not drop everything to make you tea or a hot water bottle, or stand over you with an umbrella whilst they are getting wet. If you demanded that of someone in the street, they would rightly tell you to fuck off.
I have spent months on a project before, travelling a foreign country with the whole cast and crew, living together, eating together and working together. They were my family, and every day was a dream. We were also on a very exotic location, which definitely added to the dream like trance I seemed to have inhabited during that time. I felt so at home in this environment, fell in love on the way, even adopted a stray animal, and I was ready to give up everything in England to lead this new life. After the project ended, I came home, and now I am not in touch with anyone from that project, and we all no longer have anything in common. Even returning for the promotional trip a year later, I organised a reunion, and wow, was conversation stifled.
This has happened to me on so many projects I have finally realised the reality of the situation. What I am not saying is to close yourself down at work and not speak to anyone as it's not real. NO. Don't do that, that is not what I am saying at all. It is real, it is just real in that moment. So grow close to people, have a laugh, enjoy them, share your secrets, listen to their stories, gossip, indulge, all of what is natural human bonding behaviour. But just realise that when it's over, 100% of what kept you together and made sure you see each other every day, has gone. So don't be sad, depressed, clingy when the family disbands. It is no one's fault. It is the natural course of projects. By all means keep in touch, but don't try to replicate the environment of the project that kept you together, and through this, you will learn if your friendships and bonds were real enough to have penetrated to a deeper level, and you will develop your friendship with that person based on their own right, not as 'Sally-the-make-up-artist', or 'John-the-assistant-director'.
And keep grounded by your real friends and family. These people are more important than anyone ever could be to you. They may not be able to give you jobs or pay your income, but they keep you human, loved, supported, and whole. And without that, you are nothing. Who cares if you have millions in the bank, you may as well become an investment banker and buy all your friends. Stay real. Stay connected.
My lifestyle of late has been a whirlwind of activity, all very exciting and sparkly. Nothing like the mundane life of an actor that I used to have, yes I used to work, and have been involved in big projects, but now everything is happening at once, projects are overlapping, I deal with three different PR agents for the various projects, I speak to my agent's office more than I do anyone else, and last week I spent more time with my publicist than I have with any of my friends at all this year.
Exciting, very. Tiring, yes but manageable. Lonely, yes.
It's never failed to baffle me how one can be surrounded by a hubbub of people everyday (sometimes hundreds if working on a big film), and yet feel so empty at the same time. When you close that door to your home/hotel room and the noise ends, the emptiness and silence is deafening. Where is the runner to make me tea? Where is the caterer with my food? Where is the cleaner to do my washing up? As an actor, you are the centre of attention when you're on set, whether this is justified, I am not so sure at times, but hey, that's the way it goes. So when it stops, what do you do?
Of course you can meet and make new friends on projects, but one must not forget (and it is easy to do so) that these people are paid to attend to you. If you took everything out of context, they will not drop everything to make you tea or a hot water bottle, or stand over you with an umbrella whilst they are getting wet. If you demanded that of someone in the street, they would rightly tell you to fuck off.
I have spent months on a project before, travelling a foreign country with the whole cast and crew, living together, eating together and working together. They were my family, and every day was a dream. We were also on a very exotic location, which definitely added to the dream like trance I seemed to have inhabited during that time. I felt so at home in this environment, fell in love on the way, even adopted a stray animal, and I was ready to give up everything in England to lead this new life. After the project ended, I came home, and now I am not in touch with anyone from that project, and we all no longer have anything in common. Even returning for the promotional trip a year later, I organised a reunion, and wow, was conversation stifled.
This has happened to me on so many projects I have finally realised the reality of the situation. What I am not saying is to close yourself down at work and not speak to anyone as it's not real. NO. Don't do that, that is not what I am saying at all. It is real, it is just real in that moment. So grow close to people, have a laugh, enjoy them, share your secrets, listen to their stories, gossip, indulge, all of what is natural human bonding behaviour. But just realise that when it's over, 100% of what kept you together and made sure you see each other every day, has gone. So don't be sad, depressed, clingy when the family disbands. It is no one's fault. It is the natural course of projects. By all means keep in touch, but don't try to replicate the environment of the project that kept you together, and through this, you will learn if your friendships and bonds were real enough to have penetrated to a deeper level, and you will develop your friendship with that person based on their own right, not as 'Sally-the-make-up-artist', or 'John-the-assistant-director'.
And keep grounded by your real friends and family. These people are more important than anyone ever could be to you. They may not be able to give you jobs or pay your income, but they keep you human, loved, supported, and whole. And without that, you are nothing. Who cares if you have millions in the bank, you may as well become an investment banker and buy all your friends. Stay real. Stay connected.